Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Big Red & Preparations

On behalf of electronically challenged Heidi (her words not mine, don't worry).
 
October 13th; 8:24pm:

 Prepping for a trip can be a tedious process.  You wouldn't think so.  Grab a suitcase, toss in some dress clothes and toiletries, BAM- done.  This is not how the process works for our heroine.  

Let's start with the suitcase itself.  Big Red (named in honor of the Big Red suitcase that bit the dust on my first travel season when I attempted to lug approximately 2000lbs of Corban materials with me in my trusty ginormous red suitcase- I used to be much much stronger than I am present day) is in the garage, behind a step ladder and a 5 foot tall roll of couch plastic and card board that I keep forgetting to break down and throw away/recycle.  No matter, I climb up and over the step ladder to reach over said waiting waste products to claim BR.  Next comes the spider check.  This is the process wherein I kick and slap the large traveling case to "scare" away  any eight-legged creatures  brought to us courtesy of the fall of man.  After a careful inspection for movement, BR is cleared for house entry.  

Now we've moved on to the easy portion of the packing process, right?  Wrong.  Carrying in BR reminds me that I really need to take out my recyclables sitting in my garage.  So why not clean out under the sink for any and all plastic and glass that has been placed there when I'm too timid to tackle the corner of the garage knows to house enormous spiders that cause me to shriek like an eight year old child.  Now seems like a good a time as any, after all, I braved a different corner of the garage.  So like a good Oregonian I gather materials like a squirrel gathering nuts or the winter.  While I'm under the sink, maybe I ought to rearrange the cleaning products stored under there.  I make quick time cataloging what I'm running low on then I move on to smelling all of the different hand soaps I have from bath and body and determine that the fresh summer pear is my current favorite.  I spot my duster and you know, while I'm thinking of it, I really should dust off all surfaces in the house-  I'll be gone for 15 days after all, let's make sure I'm coming back to only 15 days of dust not 22 because that will make such a difference in my life I'll be so thankful.   

Dusting near the TV reminds me that I need to put my DVD's sitting out away, can't leave those out.  Oh look- Modern Family.  I love that show, so funny.  I'll just watch one episode.  Then two.  Oh man,  really need to pack.  I jump up, wash my hands (need to smell the fresh summer pear again) and rush to my room with Big Red.  

Ok, pack... Thus begins the process where I cover my entire bed with outfit possibilities that all compliment my black boots (because I wore them today so they're out and working as my inspiration).  Outfit after outfit lays on the bed displayed as though an actual human was inside warming them.   Sounds simple, but I have to strategically lay them out because the reds laying next to the pink/rose colors causes me to wrinkle my nose in distaste so I move them around so they don't offend me.  Much better.  While arranging clothes I pull out skirts that bring out the great debate- nylons or tights?  So I pull out every pair of tights I own to see all the possibilities.  You know what these gray tights would look good with?  My BROWN boots.  Now I have made a commitment to myself during AK travel season which requires warmer (i.e. literally heavier) clothing- black OR brown, not both.  Packing is lighter this way and I don't get stuck near the end of the trip with a shirt that looks bad with my pants because I forgot which color scheme I was going for... etc.  But MAYBE just this once... so now I pull out the myriad of brown themed clothing options for AK- it is after all, fall.  Why jump straight to my winter clothes?  So more piles on the bed.  I stand back and assess the work and decide I'm too distracted to make actual decisions because I know I need to run a load of laundry before I can feel like I've completed all of my weekly "to-do's." Besides, why come home to another load of laundry.  This seems like a good break time.

Now the laundry is running and I take this opportunity to clean out the dryer filter.  You know... with these front loaders I feel like you can't get ALL the lint and I try to squeeze my fingers into the tiny space carved out for the actual filter to get the bit of lint I can see trapped in the space.  Fingers too fat, too fat... I spot a clothes pin- perfect!  That should give me the extra two inches I need to reach the lint I am spotting.  So I just pinch the lint when my fat sausage fingers fail me and drop the clothes pin into said tiny (but deep) space.  Dang it.  Ok.  Plan B, ignore the lint, get that clothespin out.  After a failed attempt with a flyswatter, I get the salad tongs- too short.  I try to fight once again with the reality that my hand really won't fit in this small space, but clearly not from the lack of sheer will power to try and smash one's hand through the tight space.  Man I really need to pack, It's getting late and I'm getting tired.  I gave up on the clothespin and headed back into my new walk-in closet formerly known as my bedroom.  

The amount of clothes piled up in various mannequin-like positions on my bed was ridiculous.  I wasn't MOVING to Alaska, I'm spending two weeks there.  Ok, I shoulder the courage to remove all traces of brown from the bed.  this helps.  Next I spot three tops I never wear but apparently thought would be so nice for Alaska.  My closet already has to bear the burden of their persistent presence, why should my suitcase join the party?   Ok, This is it.  I'm really packing.  I just start counting for each day of work obligations and college fairs (it's nice to change in-between those  day and evening sessions, you know?).  I hit the magic number and everything else left was banished back to the closet no matter how much I loved them.  Please.  We all know I would rather wear yoga clothes 24/7 if it was appropriate.  I think I'll do without a few favorite dresses.  Plus remember the tights vs. nylons debate?  No time, let's be practical.  Ok.  Suitcase packed.  

Next stop toiletries.  Oh wait... I never did put my latest Group Ride CD onto my iPod (plus isn't it time to back up my new phone?), let's take a break and do that.  Oh hey, I wonder what my Alaskan friends all up to?  I should remind them I'm coming.  So naturally, a quick Facebook check-in.  An hour later after "liking" the status of people I may or may not have gone to high school with in the 90's (no really... that part isn't intended to be funny or hyperbole, I went to HS in the 90's.), I checked my CD.  Oh great, ready to go.  Now how do I get these songs onto my specific song lists again... hmmm.  Where is that button... EVERY TIME.  Ok, back on FB to ask these people (they obviously have time on their hands to help me...).  Three suggestions later I was ready to eject my iPod so happy and updated.  Ok... where was I?   Toiletries.  Oh that's right.

Back to the bathroom in my reclaimed bedroom.   Thankfully I keep a pre-packed toiletry bag.  I'm not being sarcastic here.  If someone says, "free trip to Paris for a whole new wardrobe if you can leave this house in 15 seconds" I can literally open my hall closet to grab my coat, purse, toiletry and bonus- fully packed spare bag of make-up- and head out the door to claim my new clothes.  BUT... why not check it to make sure the contact solution hasn't spilled or to see how close I am to running out of floss?  So the adventure continues.  No big deal really, I just now am obsessed with pairing down things I don't think I'll need (mouse- nope, that's for humid weather- not snow...) and swapping my lightweight SPF moisturizers for the thicker "Alaska proof" creams.  Why not open the make up bag and see if I want anything special for this trip.  Really Stowman?  Does anyone really care if you're wearing the purple eyeliner as opposed to the brown?  News flash- NO ONE WILL KNOW OR CARE.  I finally give up and toss it in for good measure (I care).  Ok.  I'm done.  

Packing really isn't a skill of mine.  But at least I always have dental floss and enough work-out clothes to last me 8 different sessions if I can't do any laundry.  Oh wait... what if I want to go for a run outside?  Just kidding

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